14 May 2009
18 Rules For Lovely Life
18 Rules For Lovely Life
Every Little Smile can touch somebody's heart. May U find
hundreds of reasons to smile today and May U be the reason for someone else to smile always!
Have a wonderful weekend.
you have sweet smile , so pls keep smiling eeeeeeeeeee
13 May 2009
Funny: 20 Rules of Office
20 Funny Rules in any office (But Somewhat True too...)
1. Rule 1. - The Boss is always right.
2. Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.
3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.
4. Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a perso
n, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person do
wn.
5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
6. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are goin
g to do.
8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it...
12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
13. Following the rules will not get the job done.
14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous" .
16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.
18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.
19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.
20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
Please share your opinion too :)
1. Rule 1. - The Boss is always right.
2. Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.
3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.
4. Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a perso
n, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person do
wn.
5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
6. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are goin
g to do.
8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it...
12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
13. Following the rules will not get the job done.
14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous" .
16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.
18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.
19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.
20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
Please share your opinion too :)
Sardarji jokes
Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote 'DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!'
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U'VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..
A Teacher lecturing on population:
'In India after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. '
A Sardar stands up- 'We must find & stop her!. '
A man: 'Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?'
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says 'CHIN YU YAN' and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means 'U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!'
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!
Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar'.
Lawyer to Sardar: 'Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... '
Sardar :'Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!'
A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her....
Girl said- 'What R U doing...?'
Sardar replied- ' B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar'
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says 'please recharge your card'
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, 'For Best Results put on Two Coats'
A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, 'Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). '
The first sardar replies, 'Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258'
Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!
![]()
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept........
Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
Who said Sardar has no brain....
Sardarji went to US and had a meeting with Bill Clinton.
Bill: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me.
He takes him to a forest.
Bill: Dig the ground. Sardarji did it.
Bill: more...more. ..more... Sardarji went up to 100 feet.
Bill: So now, try to search something.
Sardarji: I got a wire.
Bill : you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have
telephones.
Sardarji became frustrated. He invited Bill to India. Next year Bill was
in India
Sardarji : I want to show you our advancement. The same...he takes Bill
to a forest.
Sardarji : Dig it. Bill does.
Sardarji : more...more. ...m.?l. Bill goes up to almost 400 feet..
Sardarji : try to find something. Bill tries.
Sardarji : Did you get anything?
Bill : No, there is nothing here.
Sardarji : you know, it shows that even 400 years ago we used to have
WIRELESS ! ! !
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote 'DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!'
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U'VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..
A Teacher lecturing on population:
'In India after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. '
A Sardar stands up- 'We must find & stop her!. '
A man: 'Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?'
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says 'CHIN YU YAN' and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means 'U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!'
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!
Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar'.
Lawyer to Sardar: 'Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... '
Sardar :'Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!'
A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her....
Girl said- 'What R U doing...?'
Sardar replied- ' B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar'
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says 'please recharge your card'
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, 'For Best Results put on Two Coats'
A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, 'Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). '
The first sardar replies, 'Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258'
Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept........
Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
Who said Sardar has no brain....
Sardarji went to US and had a meeting with Bill Clinton.Bill: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me.
He takes him to a forest.
Bill: Dig the ground. Sardarji did it.
Bill: more...more. ..more... Sardarji went up to 100 feet.
Bill: So now, try to search something.
Sardarji: I got a wire.
Bill : you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have
telephones.
Sardarji became frustrated. He invited Bill to India. Next year Bill was
in India
Sardarji : I want to show you our advancement. The same...he takes Bill
to a forest.
Sardarji : Dig it. Bill does.
Sardarji : more...more. ...m.?l. Bill goes up to almost 400 feet..
Sardarji : try to find something. Bill tries.
Sardarji : Did you get anything?
Bill : No, there is nothing here.
Sardarji : you know, it shows that even 400 years ago we used to have
WIRELESS ! ! !
01 May 2009
HAI
about U.........
U r Cute****
U r Naughty****
U r Sweet****
U r Cool****
U r Awesome****
U r Intelligent****
U r Amazing****
U r Smart****
U r Sharp****
U r Caring****
U r Tom Boy****
U r Sporty****
U r respectfull****
U r Gorgeous****
U r Alluring****
U r Attractive****
U r Appealing****
U r Good-Looking****
U r Charming****
U r Glamorous****
U r Beautiful****
U r Eye-Catching****
U r Striking****
U r Fascinating****
U r Seductive****
U r Full of life****
U r Dazzling****
U r Shining****
U r Energetic****
U r Head turner****
U r Seductive****
U r Homorous****
U r Funny****
U r Stunning****
U r Lovely****
U r Superb****
U r Fabolous****
U r Excellent****
U r Fantastic****
And the most important U r very sweet and friend of mine ****
U r Cute****
U r Naughty****
U r Sweet****
U r Cool****
U r Awesome****
U r Intelligent****
U r Amazing****
U r Smart****
U r Sharp****
U r Caring****
U r Tom Boy****
U r Sporty****
U r respectfull****
U r Gorgeous****
U r Alluring****
U r Attractive****
U r Appealing****
U r Good-Looking****
U r Charming****
U r Glamorous****
U r Beautiful****
U r Eye-Catching****
U r Striking****
U r Fascinating****
U r Seductive****
U r Full of life****
U r Dazzling****
U r Shining****
U r Energetic****
U r Head turner****
U r Seductive****
U r Homorous****
U r Funny****
U r Stunning****
U r Lovely****
U r Superb****
U r Fabolous****
U r Excellent****
U r Fantastic****
And the most important U r very sweet and friend of mine ****
Life is but Once
It's another morning.........I have to go to the office.
Ohh, this is I... I shouted having a glance at my snap in today's newspaper.
But what the HELL is it doing in the death column?? Strange...
One sec.... Let me think, last night when I was going to bed I had a severe pain in my chest, but I don't remember anything after that, I think I had a sound sleep.
Its morning now, ohh...... It's already 10:00 AM, where is my coffee?
I will be late for office and my boss will get a chance to irritate me.
Where is everyone...??? I screamed.
"I think there is a crowd outside my room, let me check." I said to myself.
So many people..... Not all of them crying...
But why are some of them crying...
WHAT IS THIS??? I m lying there on the floor...
"I AM HERE" ..... I shouted!!! No one listened.
"LOOK I AM NOT DEAD" ... I screamed once again!!! No one was interested in me.
They all were looking at me on the bed.
I went back to my bed room..
"Am I dead??" I asked myself.
Where is my wife, my children, my mom-DAD, my friends?
I found them in the next room, all of them were crying... trying to console each other.
My wife was crying... she was really looking sad.
My little kid was not sure what happened, but he was crying just b'coz his mom was sad.
How can I go without saying to my kid that I really love him, I really do care about him..
How can I go without saying to my wife that she is really the most beautiful and most caring wife in this world..??
How can I go without saying to my parents that I am what I am ... just because of them ??
How can I go without telling my friends that without them perhaps I would have done most of the wrong things in my life... thank them for being there always when I needed them... and say sorry for not being there when they really needed me..
I can see a person standing in the corner, trying to hide his tears...
Ohh... he was once my best friend, but a small misunderstanding parted us, and we both have a strong enough ego to keep us that way.
I went there.. And offered him my hand, "Dear friend... I just want to say sorry for everything, we are still best friends, please forgive me."
No response from him, what the hell?? He is still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry... even then!!!
I really don't care for such people.
But one sec.... it seems he is not able to see me!!!! He did not see my extended hand.
My goodness... AM I REALLY DEAD???
I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like crying...
"OHH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE DAYS..."
I just want to make my wife, my parents; my friends to realize how much I love them..
My wife entered in the room, she looks beautiful.
"YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL" I shouted.
She didn't hear my words, in fact she had never heard these words coz I never said this to her.
"GOD!!!!" I screamed... a little more time plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..
I cried....
One more chance please.... to hug my child, to make my mom smile just once, to make my dad proud of me at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends for everything I have not given to them, and thank them for still being in my life....
Then I looked up and cried!!!!
I shouted....
"GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!"
"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she gently woke me up. "Did you have a nightmare?"
I was sleeping....
Ohh that was just a dream.... !!!!
My wife was there... she can hear me...
This is the happiest moment of my life...
I hugged her and whispered..... "U R THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE IN THIS UNIVERSE.... I REALLY LOVE U DEAR"
I can't understand the reason of the smile on her face and tears in her eyes, but I am so happy....
"THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND CHANCE??!!?"
So, Now it's not late.. forget Ur Ego, your past... and Xpress Ur love to others... Be friendly... Keep smiling forever.......
Life is just once...so kick away all the dumb rules.............
Ohh, this is I... I shouted having a glance at my snap in today's newspaper.
But what the HELL is it doing in the death column?? Strange...
One sec.... Let me think, last night when I was going to bed I had a severe pain in my chest, but I don't remember anything after that, I think I had a sound sleep.
Its morning now, ohh...... It's already 10:00 AM, where is my coffee?
I will be late for office and my boss will get a chance to irritate me.
Where is everyone...??? I screamed.
"I think there is a crowd outside my room, let me check." I said to myself.
So many people..... Not all of them crying...
But why are some of them crying...
WHAT IS THIS??? I m lying there on the floor...
"I AM HERE" ..... I shouted!!! No one listened.
"LOOK I AM NOT DEAD" ... I screamed once again!!! No one was interested in me.
They all were looking at me on the bed.
I went back to my bed room..
"Am I dead??" I asked myself.
Where is my wife, my children, my mom-DAD, my friends?
I found them in the next room, all of them were crying... trying to console each other.
My wife was crying... she was really looking sad.
My little kid was not sure what happened, but he was crying just b'coz his mom was sad.
How can I go without saying to my kid that I really love him, I really do care about him..
How can I go without saying to my wife that she is really the most beautiful and most caring wife in this world..??
How can I go without saying to my parents that I am what I am ... just because of them ??
How can I go without telling my friends that without them perhaps I would have done most of the wrong things in my life... thank them for being there always when I needed them... and say sorry for not being there when they really needed me..
I can see a person standing in the corner, trying to hide his tears...
Ohh... he was once my best friend, but a small misunderstanding parted us, and we both have a strong enough ego to keep us that way.
I went there.. And offered him my hand, "Dear friend... I just want to say sorry for everything, we are still best friends, please forgive me."
No response from him, what the hell?? He is still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry... even then!!!
I really don't care for such people.
But one sec.... it seems he is not able to see me!!!! He did not see my extended hand.
My goodness... AM I REALLY DEAD???
I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like crying...
"OHH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE DAYS..."
I just want to make my wife, my parents; my friends to realize how much I love them..
My wife entered in the room, she looks beautiful.
"YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL" I shouted.
She didn't hear my words, in fact she had never heard these words coz I never said this to her.
"GOD!!!!" I screamed... a little more time plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..
I cried....
One more chance please.... to hug my child, to make my mom smile just once, to make my dad proud of me at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends for everything I have not given to them, and thank them for still being in my life....
Then I looked up and cried!!!!
I shouted....
"GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!"
"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she gently woke me up. "Did you have a nightmare?"
I was sleeping....
Ohh that was just a dream.... !!!!
My wife was there... she can hear me...
This is the happiest moment of my life...
I hugged her and whispered..... "U R THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE IN THIS UNIVERSE.... I REALLY LOVE U DEAR"
I can't understand the reason of the smile on her face and tears in her eyes, but I am so happy....
"THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND CHANCE??!!?"
So, Now it's not late.. forget Ur Ego, your past... and Xpress Ur love to others... Be friendly... Keep smiling forever.......
Life is just once...so kick away all the dumb rules.............
01 February 2009
Fuuny Sms's And Jokes
CAT :How old r u?
ELEPHANT :5 years..
CAT :oh! But U look big?
ELEPHANT :Ya I am a "COMPLAN" boy..How old r u?
CAT :I'm 30 years old..
ELEPHANT : oh!! 30? U look so small?
CAT : Ya I'am "SANTOOR" girl....
Hi, When I want to see u
I closed my eyes.
When I need ur presence
I read ur msgs.
When I want to hear ur voice
I just throw a stone on Dog.
Teacher : U failure. At ur age
Bill gates stood first in the class.
Student : Yes sir, but at ur age
Hitler committed suicide.
I enquired evrytng abt "u".
gud family,
gud character,
gud looking,
fine personality,
no bad habbits,
calm going.
so,pls., can u marry my dog "JIMMy" ?
New Xam pattern.
1999 : Answer all the questions.
2008 : Write 2 questions.
2015 : read only qstns.
2020 : thnx 4 coming.
Hai Friends Its For UUU..........
Have a "Heart" that never Break$,
Have a "Smile" that never Fades,
Have a touch that never Hurt$,
Have a "Friendship" that never Ends
Like Ours!
One day u"ll ask me what's more important to me,
U or MY LIFE?
I"say MY LIFE & U will walk away not even knowing that
Friends like U r my life!
There are many stars but moon is u,
There are many friends, but the best is u,
To forget me that's up to u, to forget u,
I will never ever do.
If u r a Chocolate, ur the sweetest,
If u r a Teddy bear, u r the most huggable,
If u r a Star, u r the Brightest,
U r my FRIEND! U r d Best!
Friendship is all about three things -
winning, losing and sharing,
wining your firnd's heart,
losing your ego and
sharing joys and sorrows.
30 January 2009
When You Love Someone
When you love someone so deep inside,
It seems like it's so easy to hide.
You've loved her for so very long,
You would think she could do no wrong..
Every day you would hope and pray,
That she would always stay this way.
She treated you like you should be treated,
You thought your life was finally completed.
You thought your love was growing true,
And then one day it was all so blue.
She started putting you down and it hurt,
You thought all you were to her was dirt.
She started ignoring you and you wondered why,
All you wanted to do was curl up and die.
You thought your relationship would never end,
But that was all so fake and pretend.
One day She was so sweet to you,
You thought all those things were maybe untrue,
Two days later she was back the same,
You thought you were the one to blame.
She thought the relationship was getting too serious
And that you had become a little too curious.
By this time you knew it wouldn't last,
All the nice things She said were in the past.
You thought that you would marry her some day,
But this time God wanted to get her way.
You wanted things back how they were before,
But you knew this couldn't happen anymore.
It was a wednesday morning about 3 o'clock,
You heard the news and it wasn't a shock.
You knew this was going to happen soon,
As you laid there and cried in the pale lit moon.
WHAT IS LOVE???????????????
You think that he or she is really gorgeous... Then it's not love.. It's - INFATUATION. . .
If you love some one because You think that you shouldn't leave him because Others think that you shouldn't ... Then it's not love.. It's - COMPROMISE. . .
If you love some one because
You think that you cannot live with out his touch ....
Then it's not love ..
It's - LUST. . .
If you love some one because
You have been kissed by him ...
Then it's not love..
It's - INFERIORITY COMPLEX. . .
If you love some one because
You cannot leave him thinking that it would hurt his feelings ..
Then it's not love ..
It's - CHARITY. . .
If you love some one because
You share every thing with him ...
Then it's not love..
It's - FRIENDSHIP. . .
But if you feel the pain of the other person
More than him even when he is stable
and you cry for him ..
That's - LOVE
12 Ways To Know That You Love Someone
TWELVE:
You talk with him/her late at night and when you go to bed you still think of him/her.
ELEVEN:
You walk really slowly when you are with him/her.
TEN:
You don't feel Ok when he/she is far away.
NINE:
You smile when you hear his/her voice.
EIGHT:
When you look at him/her,you do not see other people around you. You see only him/her.
SIX:
He/She is everything you want to think.
FIVE:
You realise that you smile every time you look at him/her.
FOUR:
You would do anything to see him/her.
THREE:
While you have been reading this, there was a person in your mind all the time.
TWO:
You've been so busy thinking of that person that you didn't notice that number 7 is missing.
ONE:
You are going to check above if that's true and now you are silently laughing to yourself.
NOW MAKE A WISH! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT THE MOST.......
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